Naked

Broken....

A year ago I felt like I was too broken to be fixed; like no one could put me back together again; like no one wanted to be bothered to even try. It’s a sad, scary place to be... almost as bad as the hospital.

Bell Let’s Talk Day.....  I watched Canada AM’s coverage and when I heard Michael Landsberg talking it was like he had walked in my skin, read into my soul and just knew...  The stigma is scary... I think it’s part of the reason I’m maybe not so forth coming about that part of my life.  No one really wants to walk around in this life wearing a great big ol’ sign pointing out something about yourself that is not so widely understood and immediately sets you up for scrutiny and misinterpretation. “So what did you do today?” is actually a really uncomfortable question somedays... I mean it’s difficult for some people to understand that  even though you slept 8 hrs the night before, and will likely sleep 8 hrs that night, you still slept a good portion of the day away, because your body just finds it easier to shut down than deal with how bad you feel, or that this was like the fourth of fifth day in a row that you didn’t leave the house (quite comfortably) because your comfort level/anxiety level wouldn’t let you. That there are days you cannot handle crowds, noise, going out in public, making decisions or even seeing or talking to people you’ve known all your life.  That a text message is far easier than a phone call; an email or FB message can be handled easier than a face to face.  If you haven’t lived it, you really don’t get it, no matter your best intentions.

I don’t remember the last time I felt “normal” whatever that is. I don’t remember the last time I truly felt like me.  I’ve been doing some bookwork for a friend and lots of cooking (definitely not cooking any books though!) and it is likely the closest I’ve felt in a while.  I miss my job, surprisingly enough – at least to those who know how hard it was some days.  To me, I’m not surprised, because I felt like I fit there.  I loved my co-workers, I loved what I did and I loved the daily challenges and the accomplishments of hard work.  I loved solving problems and I loved feeling like I contributed to the greater good.  Sadly, they must not have felt the same, or else.... well, no point in what if’s right?

So..... gastric bypass surgery.... I’m inching my weigh (yes, sooo pun intended) up to the 70lb mark.  It has slowed down seriously since Christmas though.  It’s not that I’m not extremely grateful for the loss so far,  although I now need to do some serious shopping for underwear and bras..... I can hold out on actual clothing for the most part.  What I need now is to motivate myself to working out more and with better habituality (yeah, I know, not a real word... it’s a me-ism)  10 (yes, they are now each a year older, so the girls are now to be known as 17 and 10) is super excited at the idea of me bouncing on the trampoline with her this summer, and riding bikes and lots of other fun stuff. And I’m kind of excited at the prospect of dress shopping for Tooth Fairy’s son’s wedding ( I cannot believe he is getting married, I still remember him as a little ball of mischief, and crying when he was off to university.  His fiancée is such a super sweet guy, I loved him right away and I don’t think either of them realize how much it means to me that my girls, Big Daddy and I were immediately on their “family” list for the wedding.  I teared up, though many people know that isn’t a huge challenge, but it does mean something) and for a dress for 17’s graduation..... oh gosh I cannot believe she is graduating already...my baby.... and oh how beautiful is her prom dress.  Part of me, and I know it’s so lame, but part of me really wants to look good for her graduation; I’ve heard the talk of some of her friends through the years, wondering why her mom was so fat... I hate the thought of embarrassing my children, though I know they love me..

Family is a four letter word.....

The proverbial “they” in all their worldly wisdom have been know to say, “you can’t choose your family”.  I’m sure it was many, many years ago that “they” decided this was the case, but in this day and age we are all aware that is not “exactly true”.

You choose your mate, you choose when and if to have children and you choose whether to keep mate or child.   I myself was a child given up for adoption.  I spent time in foster care before being adopted, chosen, at age of 2.  The family was older; there were already 4 children, all considerably older than I was.  Rumours of why the family adopted me swirled; another try at raising a better child, adding a girl to a predominantly male family and some less seemly. These are things I’ll get more into later.

My being adopted was never a secret.  I knew the word from day one in my new home.  From what I was told, when the father asked if I wanted to come home with them and put his hand out to me, I took it fearlessly and went off with them, with all the innocent trust of a child, taking with me my blanket, my bear and only a couple of other cherished toys.

There are very few photos of me as a toddler, and absolutely none as a baby. I miss those as I watched my own children go through those stages, desperately looking for the similarities, having myself grown up without any “family” resemblances at all.  What a happy day it was the first time I heard how much one of my own babies looked like me.

My adoption seemed to be a good enough reason for parties in my new home; and for new family portraits.  A big church christening was my welcome into the church community.  Lots of “aunts and uncles” to be met and passed around to, and of course, the dreaded kiss so-and-so goodnight before heading to bed.  So innocent to the future to come and so unaware of the pain to be suffered and the repeated feelings of abandonment. 

Oh my dear “they”... family can so be chosen. And un-chosen.

I've come to realize that blood doesn't necessarily make for a close bond.  Neither does a shared name. Truth be told, I have a much closer feeling of "family" to my very good friends the Tooth Fairy, Design Diva, Pie Man and his wife and a few others than with those who claim to be my family by either blood or contract.  (no, not meaning Big Daddy....he's one of the reasons I got through this year)

Family has always played a big role in my life.  I've always felt like I needed the closeness and craved the acceptance.  Sadly, until I choose my own family, it was never forthcoming.

So, precious, fictitious and fabled "they".....  you most certainly CAN choose your family....and it has made all the difference in the world.

today's ramblings

So, it's 8 days to my surgery.... and I had myself a little (ok, maybe not so little) cry today.  I do NOT cry pretty either..... but honestly, does anyone?  How can blotchy, drippy, runny and sniffly be considered pretty?  Not really sure what the cry was totally about.... maybe the onset of my period, maybe the sad movie I was watching, maybe anxiety about everything going on right now, the healthy respect I have for the magnitude of the surgery, or possibly the little  voice in the back of my head that tells me I suck at family or that I am likely to continue to fail.

I've been trying my damnedest to make the liquid protein meal replacements tolerable.  I add coffee, ice cubes, various flavours of Crystal Light to the chocolate and vanilla powder.  I am biding my time until I'm on full fluid the second day after surgery so that I can have cream of wheat...

Do you ever sit and contemplate previous decisions?  Do you go over and over them in your mind and wonder "am I doing the right thing" or "am I just being stubborn and selfish"?  I can't help myself sometimes wondering if I'm depriving my girls by turning away from my family.  I tell myself that those people aren't healthy for me, lord knows that Big Daddy has been telling me this for decades now.  I think he had made up his mind about them back when we were in our very early 20's after a particularly nasty incident between my father and I.  Big Daddy decided he was not leaving me alone and at risk, so he bunked down for the night on the sofa in my room (it was a very big room) and made sure I was safe.  To this day, no matter if we are disagreeing or not, he always has that passionate protective thing, and it makes me feel safe.  I have the same protective feeling towards my girls.  No one, and I do mean no one messes with my girls unless they want to deal with my momma lion side.

So in further preparation for the changes to come I cut my hair....short.  I need it easy to deal with post op because I'll have far more important things to have to.  Plus if the predicted hair loss happens I would hope it would be easier managed with short hair than long (ok, and less noticeable for the little bit of vanity I will confess to).

16 wanted to hit the Tommy Hilfiger outlet store on Saturday.  I actually bought a polo shirt dress. It's a bit snug, but I'm hoping that it will be less tight for next week's trip to Toronto. Of course the one 16 purchased looks sooo much better on her and her beautiful figure.  I thought I'd wear it while we spend the day before surgery in downtown Toronto and at our beautiful hotel that my good friend Detective D has booked us into.  She's going to keep an eye out on the girls until Big Daddy gets back the day after my surgery.

My father in law has been going through some health issues as of late.  It worries me because I hate the thought of potentially loosing yet another father. He has had a few medical procedures, suffers almost constant pain and has continuous infections.  Many people, when they meet my father in law or have known him, often see his stern, logical, ex military side.  I admit, I often find him daunting myself, but I've seen another side of him.  When I was in the hospital, and having a particularly bad day, he was there.  He held me and let me cry, silently comforting me in that strong "dad" way.  He does lots of little things that he doesn't have to do, but he just does.  I'm not ready to part with him anytime soon.  It's kind of funny how some people become important and necessary parts of our lives, even if it's just the little things.... maybe the little things are what count the most.

Sometimes there's so much going on it's hard to pick a title...

So much going on and never even nearly enough time (or energy) to deal with it.

August 16..... I've got the date for my surgery at long last.  Almost 4 years of research, 18 months on the waiting list and now everything seems to be going at warp speed. I have my moments of "Oh my Heck" but I think it comes from a healthy respect for the enormous nature of the surgery and the lifestyle change to follow.  I'm all about the label reading now.  Did you know how much sugar there is in a cup of milk???  Even skim milk!!  It's redonculous!  Same with organic, non sweetened apple sauce.  I can have the lite baby bell cheese, sugar free Kozy Shak rice pudding, but not the sugar free Carnation Instant Breakfast...(how can it be called sugar free with all that sugar in it????? )  Every time I'm at the grocery store or pharmacy I "window shop" to see what foods I can have just to make sure I don't feel cheated.

I've started a binder.... kind of my surgery bible.  I have all the handouts from the classes, nutritional info, lists of protein powder and supplement options, sample menus for all the various phases and a power of attorney packet.  I guess I feel that the more info I have, the better prepared I shall be.

Of course I'm not the only one going through stuff.  16 is smack in the middle of her finals... and obsessing totally.  She's busy calculating a guesstimate of what her average will be, will it be high enough for her first or second choice university  Meanwhile, she is also convincing herself that she can do her fall back, be a paramedic,  because of all her swim and first aid training.  And the most fun lately has been hearing  how even with all her training she doesn't like to swim, not at all.  Did I mention she teaches swimming to children?  That she has all the certifications needed to be a lifeguard ?  Yes, 16 will always be my contrary child.

And then there is 9...my baby and likely my largest source of worry.  We've recently had one of her meds changed for her ADHD and so far so good.  Poor baby has had a blow to her self esteem due to the weight gain factor of one of her previous pills.  She tries on clothes and they don't fit and we've had to invest  in crop tops for her to wear under all her shirts.  Boobies at 9 yrs of age...I was so NOT prepared for that. I don't think she was either.

She had her year end piano recital, which went off without a hitch, is all signed  up for her summer camps and is now the proud owner of a shiny new pair of CRUTCHES!  A slight mishap on the trampoline has resulted to a fracture in her baby toe and lots of bruising, swelling and inability to bear weight on that foot.  So, needless to say, no soccer today and a rock solid excuse to get her out of most of her chores. The whole time we were at the peds out patient clinic her biggest fear was would she have to get a needle??  It didn't seem to stop her much, she was anxiously counting down until her friend came home across the street.  Had to laugh my ass off though when she stood up at one point in the evening and "forgot" about her crutches...at least until I looked at her as if she was nuts and the pain hit.  Hopefully  once is all it will take, but how exactly do you explain it to a sleep walker??  She is known for sitting up in bed at any given time, having conversations and wandering.  I think that's part of why I sleep so badly; someone has to be conscious to ensure everyone is safe.

Ah well, I'm tired, and tomorrow looks like it's going to be a super busy housework kind of day.

Ramblings and thoughts and things to come, with a side of funny things my kids have done !

So, I've been thinking about my breasts quite a bit as of late. It's not what you think...last Friday I was at a class for my Gastric Bypass surgery and they were going much farther into depth about specifics than at the previous class.  Then I was watching  Oprah and she had Star Jones on talking about her surgery and the subsequent weight loss and she happened to mention her breasts drooping...well she said they were like pancakes actually, so she treated herself to a boob lift. Well, Big Daddy was in the room and he actually mentioned it the other day; said it might be something worth considering after the fact.  I may have failed to mention Big Daddy is a breast man....  haha

The class covered the pre op liquid diet and colour me surprised to find that there are 5 vegetables that you can have while on this liquid diet ( I mean, they call it a liquid diet right?? To allow vegetables should then change the name to liquid and these 5 vegetables diet don't ya think??)  Any way you get 2 cups a day of these mostly water vegetables which I think sounds way better than just drinking this mixed review tasting Opti Fast stuff.  The class also covered the diet stages post op, and honestly, I feel I can do it.  I drink lots of water anyway and I have recently discovered that naked tea (tea without milk and stuff in it) isn't too bad afterall.  And decaf to boot!  I add a slice of lemon and maybe some lime and it's quite nice.  I've also been practicing the slow sip method when I drink water as opposed to chugging the entire bottle without taking a breath.  That is one of the lifestyle changes that I will need to make post surgery.  Right along with chewing the begeezus out of every tiny bite I put into my mouth and watching out that nothing I consume has too much fat or sugar in it (Google dumping syndrome, it's not a pretty thought).  I'm not saying it won't be tough...it will be, and I won't say I'm not scared, because I am, but the thought of being healthy again and getting off some of the meds and being able to say yes when 9 wants me to play on the trampoline is what gives me the strength to say "I think I can".

So 9 has found a new friend which is absolutely great as far as I'm concerned.  Some of the kids in the neighbourhood, well let's just say they don't play nicely and find all sorts of reasons to pick on 9.  16 gets really upset and told me today she could punch this one kid for the way he treats 9.  I have to laugh because the relationship my girls have is that they can pick on each other and drive each other crazy, but no one else can.  It makes me feel so good that they are this close even with the difference in age. 9 will benefit from having an older sister.  And having someone who has her back with all this ADHD stuff is a good thing.  The new friend is sleeping over on Friday night...I swear I didnt' think 9 would fall asleep tonight, she's so happy about the sleepover.  She was telling me a bunch of jokes, she always loved knock knock jokes.  Where do cows go on their nights out?  The moovies!

16 16 16....where to begin  on16.  I took her to the family doctor a couple of weeks ago because she's been experiencing dizziness upon standing and of course there is the business of her "fakeatarianism" too.  They discovered her iron is low, so they advised a supplement and a visit to a dietitian.  I was hoping the dietitian would help for food choices, but it didn't seem to.  She gave 16 sheets on how to get enough iron.  She spoiled me rotten for my birthday/mother's day by buying me a Pandora bracelet and a charm for it.  I still can't believe it.  And of course right now she's busy with exam prep and has her summer job all lined up.  This kid is going to work a full 40 hour work week as a head councillor for daycamp, work on the weekends teaching swimming (she's hoping) and doing her grade 12 English on line so that she can take an extra science credit next year.  If she didn't look so much like me I might almost think a DNA test would be in order to see who created this energizer bunny teenager.  She has completed her NLS course, both her bronzes, her water safety courses, first aid and all that stuff and what does she say to her father and I???  "I don't really like swimming...at all".   We laughed our asses off!!  I can't wait for Pie Man's wife to find out!

On a note of relief, those horrible neighbours from downstairs next door are gone!!  I actually just sighed in relief.  No more loud backyard gatherings, pot smoking or worse yet, constant stream of traffic of people who barely stay 10 minutes (not that I am saying for certain they were distributing, but if it sounds, looks and smells like a duck....) and park there cars on my grass.  Here's hoping for quieter neighbours who don't collect beer cans by the dozens in a wheelbarrow and smoke (various things) under my bedroom window.

I will be so glad when the city reopens the sports fields; 9 is signed up for soccer and is anxious to get the games going. Personally I think she will have a future in rugby.

Ran into someone from work today while we were out picking up a few grocery items. It reminded me how much I miss doing my job and the people I worked with.  Even Mr.VP....on his good days anyway.  But I don't think I'm at that point yet....not quite.

So, big garage sale this weekend....9 decided that all monies raised will go to charity.  Big Daddy thinks I am making this more than it is and doubts I have  much to sell.  Little does he know what I have to sell, and I can't let 9 down.  We may not make much, but I'm sure every contribution is good.  And it helps with my "decluttering" therapy.  Did you know that as well as making space, studies have found (so I've read) that decluttering is also meditative and calming.... though, that may just be some crap some neat freak has come up with to make those of us who tend to be messy feel guilty......  ;)

April Showers bring....May Showers. Enough Already!

So yes, I'm back.  I guess the weather and my mental state of mind just kept me kinda quiet and to myself.  I was reminded by a friend that I hadn't blogged in a while, which kind of gave me the "get off your funk" nudge I may have needed.

We had a ladies' night a couple of weeks ago at Design Diva's house with a French theme.  I made creme brule and as usual she made so much amazing food.  Her friend Future Somolier brought so many amazing wines it was crazy.  So we all drank and ate and I think I got to a point where I couldn't possibly fit anything else into my mouth and not be physically ill from fullness.  Design Diva's home is one of my MOST favorite places on earth. I feel happy and comfortable and no stress... it's really so great to have a place that feels that way to go to from time to time.

So Easter was nice.  We had a family dinner at the Tooth Fairy's place  and her son Whipped Cream Boy and his friend the Government Employee were visiting from Ottawa.  Her's is another place I feel real comfortable at.  On Sunday we did brunch with Big Daddy's folks after the girls did their egg hunt at home.  Then I made a quiet dinner for us at home.  I used a recipe I love for scalloped potatoes that  use both white and sweet potatoes..its very good.  And I used some amazing maple syrup that was gifted to us at Christmas by my Crazy Auntie.

When the hell is this rain going to end??  Never mind the rising water levels, but I'm cold and damp and it's paining my body beyond my limits.  I have things I want to do, but I'm pain restricted.  I hate feeling this old when I'm really not that old.  Speaking of that, stupid birthday is creeping up.  Just another day and fewer people in my life.  Yes, it was my choice, but I guess on some level I had a hope that blood wasn't the only thing that made family. Oh well....I have enough crazy in my life anyway, so I don't really need more do I?

So yesterday I made the trek to Toronto.... first of many for checking me out and getting information on gastric bypass surgery.  There, I said it out loud (ok, well wrote it out loud).  Over a year ago my doctor recommended me for the surgery because I have tried everything else...commercial, medical and the downright silly. Those who really know me know about my thyroid issues. My metabolism is shot and I hate feeling the eyes of strangers watch me when I eat as if they are going to see me ingest have a buffet on my own. Or knowing when I walk into certain stores that the clerks are thinking they have absolutely nothing that will fit me.  Most of all, I want to be healthy.  I want to see my girls graduate, I want to see them marry and I want to be a gramma.  I've done my research, I've read up on the procedure and there are a couple of blogs I read of people who have been through it, and not just the  good side.  I want this.

Well, maybe if the clouds part I can start working the garden a little...

Mystical Universe Riddles

So today started out well enough..... I woke up, and there were no grey hairs (none that had come uncoloured anyway), I didn't fall down and hurt myself (or stand up and hurt myself as many of you know I am actually prone to) and basically I felt pretty good.  So I decided to fold laundry and pile it up for everyone to put away.  And with the intention to follow medical advice of not overdoing (such as I had on the weekend and paid for dearly) I proceeded 1 basket at a time, watching old Harry Potter movies as I did.

I really did start out with the best of intentions....but we know what is said of the best of intentions.  And so mine did (go straight to hell) with every passing of the open doorway to 16's room. Why, oh why is  it that a teenager must have a bedroom floor obliterated by piles upon piles of clothing??  Why must there always be empty cans and bottles, dirty dishes and such?  Why must the bed be in a constant state of unmadeness?  Why do I  always expect the next time to be different; that it will remain clean and tidy, the clean clothes making it to their rightful place and the dirty ones being put in for washing?

And so, feeling  that I would not be a dutiful mother if I didn't do my utmost to assist my daughter who is soooo busy with school, part time job and lifeguard training? So in I bravely go, where it clearly looks as if no mother has ever gone before, armed with empty laundry baskets and a bundle of hangers and a desire to do a good deed.  I place all her precious to be hung items on hangers and lay them on the space I have cleared on her bed ( I'm not a saint, I won't do everything for her, she can damned well hang them up n'est ce pas?), I pick up the empty bottles and can and place them in one of the couple of dozen different shopping bags from any of the numerous stores she likes to frequent, and I begin the arduous task of gathering up the dirty(may not have started dirty but as soon as she dumped them on the floor who is to say).  Several baskets later and I could see the floor.  Yipeee!

I would love to say that she was speechless with gratitude, that she was wrought with worry that I had over done it, that I had caused myself terrible pain to my body with all of the bending and scooping and lifting.  I would really love to say that..... but sadly that was not the case.  Apparently, in the perfect world of a teenager, good mothers suffer in silence, and don't loose sleep over trifles such as messy rooms and dirty laundry.

Did any one else know that a chore schedule, cute stickers and rewards would actually get chores done???  It is absolutely amazing.....except of course it doesn't extend as far as bedrooms.

And seriously.......where do the socks go??

I don't know shit about shit, but I know right from wrong! E. Brockovich

I am sitting here enjoying a delightful little Late Autumn Riesling from Inniskillin and a grossly runny creme brule.  Well at least I have until Friday to perfect the creme brule.  Thankfully my weekend baking turned out ok, at least 16 was very excited about the lemon raspberry cake.  And both Banana loaves are gone.

Quitting.... I quit therefore I am; Quitting wrinkles the soul; if you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit, no use being a damned fool.  Ah, there is a point to my rant. 

I'm sure most of us have quit something in our lifetime.  Quit a job, quit smoking, quit a relationship, quit a club, quit reading something that bored you.... you get the picture.  Anyway, as to quitting relationships,  I believe that is one of the hardest quits we ever face.  One of the hardest relationships, IMHO, is family, and generally speaking there is no choice in who your family ends up being.  Unless, of course, you are the one chosen by your family (thinly veiled reference to adoption).  It's a nice idea, being "chosen" but really only if the choosing was unanimous.  When said choosing is not, it can lead to years and years of bitter resentment and pain and the hardship of not belonging, or not knowing where you fit.

January 25 was 9's birthday, and it was also the day I quit my family. I got a pass from the hospital to come home for dinner and cake with 9, 16 and Big Daddy. I was grateful, but of course the nerves were crazy.  Big Daddy had picked up dinner at the restaurant of 9's choice, but before we could eat, Nana showed up.  I thought it would be a short visit because of my limit time, and while 9 was pleased to see her and grateful for her present, I was anxious at having people around. It got worse though.  Nana started talking about a bridal shower that was held for Eldest Niece ( daughter of Sister from Hell) and surprisingly, I had no recollection of the shower because I wasn't invited. I shouldn't find this a problem, as SFH lives 5 minutes away and we are never invited to anything, not Christmas, not Thanksgiving, not Easter,,, NADA. Nana of course spends all the holidays with SFH. 

Now, there is a chance that perhaps Nana didn't realize what she was dropping a huge, emotional bombshell in my lap...but I was far too upset to want to give anyone the benefit of  the doubt. When I got back to the hospital, I messaged Oldest Brother who called me back.  His wife and grown daughters had come here, to town, to attend the shower, and hadn't given a second thought to my not being there.  They simply assumed I had chosen not to attend or send a gift.  ( yes, I can be a bitch, but one thing anyone who knows me knows oh so well that mama don't abide by bad manners) Then he made some comment about the next part being awkward, and asked if I had received an invitation to the wedding.  Of course not, why on earth would that have happened??

See, what makes me the most angry is not that SFH has managed to exclude me from this, she didn't want the parental units to adopt me in the first place (she was very vocal about it every chance she got)  but that not one single "family" member stood up to her for me, not even one.  So I said fine, I quit.  If I'm not wanted I won't be there.  I then called Nana, advised her not to come visit the next day as I was too angry and I then told her I knew all about being left off the invitation list, and that I quit.  She gave no argument and no other comments, so I hung up. 

That was January.....this is now April.  I have since removed all contacts from my cell, facebook, email etc.  I guess I am nothing if not thorough.  Big Daddy has been telling me for decades that these people were not worth the heartache they continuously inflicted on me.

Sorry, guess this wasn't the most humours of blogs....but...

It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you. (Quote by - Claudia Lady Bird Johnson)

Satisfyingly Busy Saturday

 I woke up this morning with some energy and the determination not to waste it. So,  up I got, donned my rubber gloves and filled a bucket with hot water and bleach.  I headed down to the front foyer, pulled apart the hall closet, bagged up the items that no longer fit any of my family members, scrubbed the floor, put back what was being kept and moved onto the rest of the entryway. De-clutter has become my favorite catch phrase around here.

  I feel that de-cluttering is going to simplify my life and  clear away any excess ..... what to call it .... energy?  shui?? Anyway, maybe spiritual house cleaning is even required as  Pie Man's Wife suggested to me.  She and I visited  a place several years back to get some white sage (wrapped up like a big fat doobie) to smudge at their apartment because of some spirits in residence.  So maybe I'll take a trip to that store and find some smudging herbs for myself.

Anyway, so my energy was still up enough to make a lemon raspberry bundt cake and two loaves of banana bread after dinner. 16 came home from her 1st exhausting day of the weekend.  Teaching swimming and then attending classes for her lifeguard training.  She will sooooo be passing out when she gets home tomorrow night from day 2.  Plus it appears she has picked up some extra classes to teach.

9 spent the late afternoon and evening at her best bud's dad's place, and of course the typical attempt to finagle a sleep over, which was quickly and expertly waylaid by us parents.  9 was absolutely bouncing out of her skin when she got home, but the crash came quick as I knew it would. I myself am actually feeling my own crash begin.

Now, I have yet to be given ANY INPUT on what recipe to try next.  So I have been left to make my own choices.  I am going to start with the 10 min Tiramisu....looks yummy and only 6 simple ingredients.  I'm also going to do the Rustic Salmon Quiche...Big Daddy likes  salmon and likes quiche.  If these turn out, I will share the recipe and photos.

Well, night night all.  I'm going to have some tea and watch the end of Skeleton Key.

The Disappointment is in the Pudding

 Do you know why there are holes in Canadian Swiss Cheese??  They are caused by gases, which dilate the cheese body before it becomes firm.

Happy Hump Day y'all!!!   Do you have any idea what kind of sick perverted images come up on the screen when you google Hump Day??  Wow the intenet can be a dirty dirty little place.

So I tried the pudding today...no thickening at 1.5 hr, not even at 2hr.....so, let it sit in the pot, and it's still a non thickened smelly liquid with rice on the bottom.  I am soooooo disappointed.  I love rice pudding and was so hoping this would be such an easy recipe.  Oh well. 

To curb today's disappointment, I decided to make use of the phylo pastry I just happened to have thawing in my fridge, chopped up some apples and made two "strusel" type things and an maple apple galette kind of thing. I guess they are okay, but I think they were missing something.  I'll need to practice more.  I've never played with phylo before.

I had horrible bad dreams last night.  This is odd, as I adore horror movies...they make me laugh even. ( except for some reason Signs with Mel Gibson, it really made me uncomfortable.  Wanted to pick up the tv and put it in the freezer until I wasn't freaked out again.  How You Doo'in?? ) 

 Big Daddy thows off enough heat to be his own furnace, so I was feeling way too warm and went to lay out on the sofa with my "relaxation" music on the ipod.   Ipod dies; not charged, so I'm left laying in the dark and quiet.   I started to get these flashes of light behind my closed lids, kind of like  quick flashes of computer code or some dumb shitake mushrooms.  I opened my eyes and for just a split second I'm sure someone was standing over me.  Some crazy reason leads me to believe it was a woman. 

I of course freaked out and ran back to the bedroom and woke up Big Daddy who told me nothing was there and everything was fine.  ( I'm 5 right?? did you check under the bed too daddy??)  I quess it took a few hours for him to get me to fall peacefully back to sleep.  9 wandered into our room around 5, unable to sleep because she wasn' t feeling well, and she tells me Big Daddy practically begged her not to wake me up because of how long it took to get me back to sleep.

Tomorrow I have another councelling session with a really nice woman who comes to the house once a  week to talk to me about my feelings.  I was kind of rude and bitchy last week, which was right after being released from the hospital.  Those who know me know I can be bitchy, but rude, well mama don't abide by rude.   So I will humbly apologize and do my very best to behave tomorrow.  Guess if I realized I had behaved badly, perhaps the new meds might be working

Now, comes the decision of the next recipe to try.  And I'm asking for input on this. I will give options from different catagories.   First I have an appealing looking  "rustic salmon quiche".  Then there is a delectible looking  "10 minute Tiramisu".  Next is a "Pomegranate Martini" (yes, I had to throw in some kind of adult libation) Or, one of  the many roasted vegetable recipes I have..

Okay, folks, that's it.  Give me the input as to what I should try next... I have stacks of choices and I think it'd be cool to go through all of them.  Seems very "Julie and Julia" but I assure you it ain't.

And I shall leave y'all with this little nursery rhyme of old.  You may just learn something about yourself based on the day you were born  (LOL).  And if  you wonder, I was born on Mother's Day   ;)

Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child works hard for a living,

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

Sleeping Ugly

Did  you know that being called low man on the totem pole is actually a compliment (or should be)?  It has always been believed that those of least importance sit at the bottom, while in actuality  a counterargument frequently heard is that figures are arranged in a "reverse hierarchy" style, with the most important representations being on the bottom, and the least important being on top.   Kind of makes you go hmmm eh??

The election hasn't been  going on for very long, and yet I am sick-to-death of all the negative ads.  I've never been a fan of them, even dating as far back as the cola and burger wars.  I'm not sure if I dislike them more than the visual pollution of multiple signage in small spaces, or a sign ever two feet...

So, as part of my illness, sleep is a HUGE issue.  I've gone as far as 40 hours between sleep, or slept for extended periods of time.  And when I'm in a big sleep...waking me is impossible; it's like being knocked out.  I know someone is trying to wake me, but it just doesn't happen.  Doesn't matter if I sleep well at night, I still need a sleep in the day.  Doesn't matter if I sleep all day I can still sleep at night.  Worst is when I can't sleep at anytime and then I crash.  I feel like I miss out on a lot of things, and so much of what I need to do goes undone.  I really think it effects 9 the most.  She has actually expressed worry over the sleeping and tells me she misses me.  That SERIOUSLY hurts.  Anyone who knows me, knows my girls are MY LIFE.

That being said, I've made arrangements for 9 to have someone to talk to.  You know you're in trouble when your elementary school aged child tells you she's stressed.  I feel like a broken record, but with her ADHD she takes some things so much more serious than a child without exptionalities and she holds onto things (memories, good or bad, promises, kept or broken, and grudges) for such a loooong time.  Anyway, I'm hoping that talking to a neutral party will be of benefit.  If not, well I won't force the issue.

OK....so here is where we begin with the recipes.  I'm organizing them now as I watch the "real" Karate kid.  Tomorrow will be rice pudding (HUGE LMAO to anyone who knows the humour here).  It's an Indian recipe,  made with Basmati rice, milk sugar and cinnamon ( also cardamom and pistachios which I will not be using out of personal choice).  It's cooked very slowly on the stove top to make the milk rich and creamy.  the recipe also recommends addition at serving of either Indian gold leaf shreds or a sprinkle of rosewater for authenticity in taste.  Again, I believe I shall pass.  And I know, many are likely saying "then why try a recipe if you are going to omit so many of the ingredients???"   Well, even though cooking is very much a science, it is also based on personal tastes, and since taste is in the mouth of the beholder..   ;)

Any of you who have a bithday in April??  If so, I found this little "ditty"  just for you.

She who from April dates her years,

Diamonds should wear, lest bitter tears

For vain repentance flow; this stone

Emblem of innocence is known.

~Anon

Happy Crafty Monday!

So not only do I continue to date things 2010... I honestly began to name this Happy Crafty Tuesday..  LOL

Hobbies can be good; they can keep you busy.  So today I decided was as good a day as any to return to my crafting ways.  Well, ok, not just today, I have been working on organizing it so I can start.  So today, after having spent a few days organizing, I started.  I've made some thank you cards (tomorrow I am planning on starting some Easter cards), began designing and painting a decorative bird house, a mini basket that I can only describe as like an old fashioned milk man basket, except in wood, and a garden stone for 9's flower garden.

****thought interruption as I stare at the bizarre Mini Wheats commercial to the tune of "In The Navy" with actual characters looking like Village People...good grief! *****

So, a trip to the dollar store  for some additional supplies for the Easter Cards, some canvasses, smaller for 9 to pursue her artistic talents, (which is believed to be quite helpful for children with ADHD) of course her own brushes too and then some larger canvasses that I have some ideas for.  I also put together a paint collection, carrying case etc for her too. I like to encourage 9 to do whatever appeals to her (within reason for both cost and safety ).  She is super psyched about horse riding camp  that is being run by the YMCA (2 weeks and it was her absolute favorite last year.  Again, I think it's one of those therapeutic type things for kids like her.  I'd never seen her so excited about a camp before, and I would have sent her all summer had it been offered.

Poor 16.... I have been holding back on sharing certain tid bits because she keeps threatening to beat me (I'm serious, she is considerably taller than I)  but I simply cannot help it.  I'm not sure how many of you know that 16 has been going through all the courses needed for teaching swimming lessons, and of course lifeguarding etc.. and she works for Pie Man's Wife (I could call her my favorite cup cake maker too, but meh  lol).  So anyway, several weeks ago she was getting ready on a Friday night for classes on Saturday morning.  She was in the shower, shaving her legs (Oh how mortified would she be if she knew I was sharing this)  and she slipped.  We heard a bang and then her angry utterances.  I yell out to find out if she's ok, and of course the surly answer is NO!  I go running in (thankfully my trusty ankle was not betraying me this time)  and grab the towel for her.  I look in, and the soap dish is smashed..yes smashed and she has a 2 inch gash on her right cheek (the lower one) and oh my heck is it bleeding.  At the ER all 16 can worry about is stitches.  She doesn't want stitches in her bum, she doesn't want stitches period..  So they used glue.  To me it didn't look like it took too well.  And it didn't.  Stubborn as she is, 16 decided she didn't want to miss her classes, so she taught.  We used a special waterproof bandage given to us by a helpful nurse.  Removing it hurt like hell, and removed any of the remaining glue.  Big Daddy's big laugh comes from repeating his joke that there goes 16's career as an a$$ model.

Now just a couple of weeks back, Pie Man's Wife asked 16 to volunteer for  a lifeguarding competition.  Of course 16 said yes.  We received a call far earlier than expected from Pie Man's Wife to explain why 16 needed to be picked up early.  It seems that the lifeguarding team didn't take that oath "first do no harm".  They banged the back of her knees into the edge of the pool and then as their piece de resistance they whacked her head off a wall.  Poor 16 felt like crap for the next few days, and needless to say, that team did NOT win.

Anyway....it's time for some sleeep I think, especially if I can somehow manage to get Big Daddy to quit the damned snoring.  It's shaking the walls for goodness sake!

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air? Can't live can't breathe with no air.

Ok. so anyone who has been reading my blog knows I've been very VERY laxed in updating.  The reason is that I have been fighting health issues; mental and physical health issues.  I've been keeping a journal to try and record my feelings, but some days exhaustion, pain and frustration keep me from doing it.  I've had a hard time, bad time and as Big Daddy tells me, I need to take my recovery one breath at a  time.  So, maybe I can share each breath, or some of the easier ones to share, here in my blog.  No, it's not going to be a soapbox kind of thing, or a tell-all therapy session.  Some of it's funny, some of it's sad... and some just make me extremely exhausted. So, onward and upward.

Asthma.. (from the Greek άσθμα, ásthma, "panting") is a common chronic inflammatory disease of the airways characterized by variable and recurring symptoms, reversible airflow obstruction, and bronchospasm.^[1] Symptoms include wheezing, coughing, chest tightness, and shortness of breath. In 2009 asthma caused 250,000 deaths globally. (thanks Wikipedia)  So Friday at and Saturday down to the ER at KGH I go * dragged actually by Big Daddy because I've had my FILL of hospitals* because of my stupid asthma.  Two nights in a row for goodness sakes. (really where on earth does that saying come from... it's like oopsie daisy or holy cow)  Anyway, two nights in a row suck if you're hanging out at the ER.  Looking at the stats of asthma deaths in 2009, don't you think 4 hrs is a very long wait for someone having an asthma attack??  I wheezed, coughed  and Oh, did I mention the overwhelming sense of anxiety?  Have they not read that anxiety can trigger shortness of breath and tightening of the chest?

*** thoughts interrupted by my incredibly ANNOYING next door (basement) neighbours. Banging doors and God only knows (another of these wierd little sayings) what else to my incredible ANNOYMENT. I noticed they were smoking (and NOT your normal cigarettes if you get what I'm saying)  and so I actually took my water bottle and threw water against the vines that divide their area in the basement from our back yard.  I suppose I can blame it on my mental  illness, but seriously, they just piss me off too much on a regular basis.  ;)   ***

Anyway, obviously  I survived the asthma issues as I'm writing this now.  But seriously.....  FOUR HOURS???  I should have just turned blue and they would have taken me faster ---- nah.

So, Simply Irresistible ( little known 1999 Sarah Michelle Gellar movie that I watch literally every time I see it is on)  is on tv right now.  Did you know that when a man is playing with his belt he is thinking about sex?  And that it seems that they, on average, think of sex every 4 minutes??   And did you also know that the only thing that tastes worse than blue cheese and dirt is rum raisin?

Did you know that you can actually injure your ankle simply by standing up??  TRUST ME, I've done it twice now, most recently last week while I was in the hospital.  My friend Geologist  Man finds this extreeeemly funny.  The first time it happened was at work, in the office next to his.  I was on a call, stood up and the pain was unbelievable.  I actually sat in the office, door closed of course, crying for 20 minutes and unsure of what to do.  Any movements made it hurt even more.  Now Geologist Man gets so wrapped up in his work that I wasn't certain he would hear anything I threw at the wall to get his attention.  I finally got myself up and back to my desk.  I called the admin assistant and asked her to come to my desk and to bring an ice pack I kept in the office freezer (it's common knowledge that I am a big klutz....and awkward oompa loompa if you will) and as she as  putting the ice pack on my ankle, or trying to between my flinches. One particular flinch was followed by a not so nice 4 letter word which then brought Geologist Man from his office.  He took a look, decided he needed to take me to the hospital and then laughed the whole way there about having to fill out the accident report, and doing the illustration of how I injured myself by falling off the desk, drunk out of my mind (I wasn't, but you must understand that is his sense of humour).

Well perhaps that is enough for tonight.  OHHH..except I forgot to mention that I have been decluttering, and as such, I have gone through YEARS worth of magazines, pulled out the recipes I wanted and recycled the rest.  So as I try all these recipes, and more as I find them, I shall share with  all  of you....if there is an all of you even reading.   Did you know that the secret to a superb meringue is corn starch???   And if anyone has a vanilla orchid they don't want..I'll take it off your hands!

hugs and cookies!

Blogger oh Blogger, where for art thou Blogger?

 Ah what a neglectful thing I have been.  So much came up and sadly, though I had material, I was just not up to getting it down.  So I shall give a slight re-cap (though re-cap isn't the  right word if I haven't previously shared it now is it??) of what I missed sharing.

1. In this day and age, what possible reason could grown people have for NOT WASHING their hands after using the bathroom?!?  I was in the bathroom at our Zellers store (if you've been in it, you know it smells like it's already not the cleanest place)   waiting for 8 and in just that few moments I witnessed no fewer than THREE women walk out of the stalls and right out the door!!

2. Meandering people meandering across the path of the car in parking lots.  If you are crossing, cross already.  Don't do it on an angle in slow motion.... GO already.

3. Speed humps, pillows, cushions...what ever the hell you want call these additions to the streets in hopes of curbing (curbing....get it??  Streets - curbs....LOL) people's crazy speed addictions etc... The city pays material and labour to have them installed on one of our streets (ok, lots of our streets, but I'm talking about one in particular) not too long ago, and when I was driving on it a few days ago, they've removed them, to replace them with other bumps or whatever.  Could they not have simply added to what was already there??  I guess that didn't cost enough.

4. 16 has finally admitted to me that she likes Hockey Boy! The two of them dance around it, but the way they are with each other tells the tale.

5. Poor 8 ..... We were discussing her ADHD and she takes it very personally that it effects mostly boys over girls.  She has a Monday afternoon group that deals with some of the issues that kids with ADHD deal with, and of course it's ALL BOYS!  I told her that she is lucky that way, because she's smarter and stronger than any old boy....she didn't buy that.  On the plus side, she just discovered that one of her good friends ( a girl) has just been diagnosed.  I believe this will give her some peace of mind.

Oh, would someone please tell me who thought up those cute little panty liner things in their adorable little colourful packages the size of a teabag??  I mean seriously now.... obviously not meant for someone who has to use serious tampons and ginormous pads.  So completely and totally unfair!!  My pads are definitely not packaged to be pretty. Well, must just be sour grapes from someone who believes her period is just a waste of time at this point in her life.

Meandering, Speed Cushions and Exs... oh my poor heart

Ahh, so sorry dear blog to have left you so long... it's been an odd week.

So, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, as I frequently do these days sadly enough.  My retched blood pressure was high(3 digit diastolic = bad) - again and so my darling Doctor sent me to the ER to be monitored for the evening. New meds, iv, heart xray and bruising from the bp cuff.

Enough of this, on to the fun.

Rattle Snake Eggs and Crystal Skull Vodka

So, just to clarify.... some people, for reasons unbeknownst to me, happen to find extreme humor in my immense embarrasment and discomfort. Sadly, I appear to be an easy target.  Oh, if you know my family....please, PLEASE don't bring up KY Jelly..EVER!

That being said, I spent the day with Toothfairy today. She treated to a free McDonald's coffee while we toured Home Hardware, Dollarramma and WalMart for Christmas craft ideas.  Everywhere we went, people asked her "why aren't you at work??" as if she was skipping third period.  She almost go us  banned from Walmart by scaring the CRAP out of a staffer in crafts (her parents also had the good taste to give her my name, so she was really spooked when Toothfairy called to me while standing mere centimetres from the poor woman) Apparently Wally World doesn't appreciate patrons making the staff jumpy.

So,  as to jumpy  (spoiler allert)  we returned to Toothfairy's house for lunch  and I sat at the kitchen table only to see an envelope marked "Rattle Snake Eggs" peeking out from under a book. I asked what Umma Gumma was doing with rattle snake eggs; Toothfairy said "oh those are old.  Haven't  you seen them before?  Have a look." I shrug and begin to gently pull the envelope out from under the book and closer to me when all of a sudden it begins to shake, rattle and move.  I  shreek, jump out of my chair and sprint (those of you who know me, can you actually picture me sprint??) back 10 feet to the living room.  As I peek around the doorframe I hear hysterical, riotous laughter.  Umma Gumma is killing himself laughing from behind their bedroom door.  In fact, he is laughing so hard tears are streaming down his face.  Toothfairy is also snickering.  Inside the envelope was some contraption of springs and stuff, specifically meant to zero in on naive, innocents such as myself!  Aparently my entertainment value tickled him for hours and hours as he continued to laugh himself silly.   Well I never!

On my way  home I stop at my friend Deputy D's house to drop off the key I had while watching their critters last week.  I watch their animals most every time they are away..... despite the high number of fatalities.  I am not kidding.  They joke that I am cursed, and I am terribly frightened every time I enter their house. The first was the hamster that got free of his luxurious habitat.  Next was a tank full of fish that were all belly up on my first day.  Then there was the ancient Hedge Hog that I had to wrap up and put in the freezer for burial at a later date ( had to poke her several times to be certain she wasn't just sleeping).  Lastly was the cat.  I walked in and thought he was laying on the mat waiting for me...until he didn't move when I walked in...or called him, or poked him.  That one was the hardest; I lost it.  Thankfully my neighbour has experience in a vet clinic, so between sobs I told Big Daddy to go fetch her; she helped me clean up and bag the kitty and we put him in the deep freeze.

Deputy D came back from her time away with another puppy...her son was teasing me by saying the puppy was dead simply because I had touched it. Deputy D told him to behave, as I was likely watching the pets before Christmas....at which exact moment the puppy chose to growl...and everyone howled in laughter.

I figure I got the last laugh though....chocolates and the elusive Crystal Skull vodka with matching glasses!!  Damned  rattle snake eggs....

WICKED Wednesday!!!

"I've heard it said, that people come into your life, for a reason..."

So yes, 16 and I took a bus tour to T.O. to see Wicked (I have been desperate to see this for years).  The bus was full of little old ladies, some old men and a very annoying teen. (NO, not 16).  Traffic was horrible, we arrived with only about an hour before the show, which left very little time to grab lunch.

As we walked up the street behind the Cannon Theatre, one of the groups from  our bus (the one with the annoying teen) passed us, heading back to the bus and the one woman was carrying a stack of  Fibre Plus bars. (very unusal, we thought, to come to TO just for an armload of granola bars). Well, as we began to walk past a  Budget rental truck, a man threw a couple of boxes at us!  Wicked weird don`t you think?

So we carried our 2 boxes of Fibre Plus bars into the Hard Rock Cafe, sat at the bar (yes, I took my 16yr old to the bar oooooo) whic h immediately caught the eye of the bartender (Chris apparently hadn't eaten lunch yet, proven by how he drooled over the bars)  So for the price of one free granola bar, he took amazing  care of us.  Not that we were being cheap, but we had some fries, and of course we are both water drinkers. With so little time that was the best option...plus we needed to save our appetites for the Mandarin (oh the Tiramisu....later, not now, later)

The seats were amazing...mezzanine...slightly off centre and only the maybe 3rd row.  The actors...oh my heck.  I cried, I laughed and I nearly peed my pants!(pretty sure the theatre would have frowned on that) Sadly there was an empty box with two seats, the only unoccupied box which was begging for patrons.  Kept telling 16 we should help the poor box by sitting there and putting it out of it's misery... but that mouthy usher who kept loudly announcing that he could and WOULD confiscate any cameras or cell phones he caught taking photos would likely confiscate us.

I seriously would have stayed for the evening performance too.  I wish it was staying longer; I would so go again.

Traffic was still freakishly horrible after the show.. Bill the driver said it was the worst traffic day he had experienced.

We got to the Mandarin...if you have never been, it is such an experience.  Tables and tables of food, desserts, comfort food, sushi -you name it.  16 and I sat by ourselves; obviously no one liked us enough to join out table or invite us to theirs.  No  worries, we were much better company, and neither of us mocked the other for return visits to the buffet.

My favorite part of the entire day??   Spending it with 16 of course.  She laughed when I told her that. She will learn one day when   she has her own nose miners.

Good Golly Miss Molly!

I am pretty sure the lab we took 8 to for her blood tests this morning is NEVER going to let us back in the door again! It took 1HOUR from the time they called us to when we left...all because of the HUGE fit 8 pulled when they tried to take her blood. It took Big Daddy, myself and 2 nurses to hold her still so that they could finally get the needle in.  I honestly thought they were going to  strap her down to a board before it was all over.

Speaking of strapping down to a board, it reminds me of when 16 was only about 2 or 3 years old and Big Daddy was watching her.  She got her hands on this little plastic thing that vaguely resembled an M&M and shoved it up her nose.   We tried everything to get it out, and finally had to take her to the doctor`s office. They tried and tried to remove it with no luck. We were sent to an Ear Nose and   Throat specialist.   16 was subsequently  strapped to a board ( they called it the papoose).  She begged and pleaded to be released over and over, Mommy mommy please Please, I be good I be good.  I can laugh now, but I cried an ocean of tears that day.

So Old Dog wanders into our room, mozies up to the dirty laundry and pulls some items out so as to make himself a comfortable bed.  Big Daddy stares at him ( Old Dog is deaf and I believe he is loosing his sight) and the dog does not seem to notice. As he turns to lay down, he sees Big Daddy and all of a sudden you can tell he is thinking, shit - busted. Big Daddy kicks him out of the room and that is that..the Alpha Male has won.

 Old Dog is happily snoring from on his bed of dirty laundry.

Monday Monday...what can I say?

Before I get started...I'm doing the countdown to 16 and I heading to T.O. to see WICKED!!  so, two sleeps left; thanks eversomuch Big Daddy!

So, poor 16 is taking lots of ribbing about her hockey attraction and yes, I am likely the guiltiest of the guilty parties.  Little Nana asked what 16 wants for her birthday and I said either a gift card to Old Navy or buy her a hockey player.  To me, and to the Weekend Daughter it seems so OBVIOUS that the guys is crazy about her from the way he teases her and the things he says to her.  But who am I to say...I'm just mom.  It's all very teenage dream to me. (and 16 just came in and said "shut up I hate you" only to follow it with an I love you when I protested.  Sheesh...hormones!) 

Momentary interruption while Big Daddy hops around in his chair because an ad for the Nutcracker (or Ball Breaker as he calls it) came on during Dancing with the Stars.  GO Derek and Jennifer!!

8 had a dr apt today which lead to exactly the inevitable traumatic issue that I knew was coming.....dun dun dun...blood work.  Those who don't know, 8 HATES needles.  It usually takes me, Big Daddy and a nurse to hold her down. Oh yes, and she must fast.  Anyone who has met my little love bug 8, knows she is almost always hungry.  So I have resorted to bribery; the promise of breakfast out after the test tomorrow. I hope that in the future 8 and 16 don't blame us, her endocrinologically incompatible parents for all the needles they have had to suffer through.  lol

Finally, how does one tell their own flesh and blood that maybe their dream may not be a reality.  8 loves to sing...just today she was dressed in a long shirt (supposed to portray a short dress) and heels singing in front of the mirror.  She told me her game plan is to be a singer when she is sixteen ( a la Bieber) and then have an actual dress that is short like her shirt.  I told her it would have to be longer because I would not approve something so short as to show off her bum when she bends over. "Mom, don't be silly, I won't be bending over when I'm singing!"  What WAS I thinking??? 

So Happily Saturday

Had lunch yesterday with good friends "Tooth Fairy" and "Design Diva".  We've been friends since college and we have the best get togethers from Ladies night to lunch.

So I arrived at the restaurant first....anyone who knows me knows that I  have, let's call it problematic punctuality, so being there half and hour before the other two is momentous.  Sadly,that is about all that went my way at lunch, as far as the restaurant was concerned.  I was seated and asked for some water.  I believe they either specially imported the water from Belleville or melted numerous individual ice cubes to fill my glass as it took over 15 minutes.

Tooth Fairy arrived next and asked for some tea, which took slightly less time. Must have been something special about Design Diva, because her bevvy came almost instantly...then again might be because she ordered a pint!

Now, I'm not going to say that the waitress was blond.... let's just call her a fair haired girl who didn't grasp the hint that we were very ready to order.  We finally did get to order food ** thank goodness**  and gabbed like crazy while we waited. 

Food arrives and we are all starving, but my salad didn't look right; definitely NOT the dressing I had wanted.  Okay says I, I will ask them to fix it, but I can start in on the yummy avocado spring rolls I was salivating to try, but alas, I cut into them and find NOT avocados. So Tooth Fairy calls over the waitress and tells her that none of my lunch was correct.  Hmmm...all I heard was spring rolls. Design Diva said she was relatively certain that the fair haired one had not actually heard anything I said and had almost called her on it.

Anyhow, long wait for replacement salad (likely do to having to grow the greens I'm certain) and finally receiving the right spring rolls was followed by a phone call from Big Daddy, telling me the school had called and 8 had a "sore mouth" and wanted to come home.(so much for mom's easy day)

Have I mentioned 16's new found love of  the pucks and sticks??  So last night was another game and she and my weekend daughter  took 8 with them. Nothing gets attention more than an 8 yr old girl wanting autographs.  16 denies it strongly, but I have a feeling she likes one boy in particular who shares her bio class.  Weekend Daughter agrees with me that Hockey Boy acts like he is partial to 16 too.  ;)  Just don't tell 16 or she may sock ya one.

Getting a little ahead of myself, but you could have absolutely knocked me over when I got an email notifying me that Jann Arden is following me on Twitter.  ME!! I am a huge fan;  she's funny, talented and intelligent.

Soooo....needed some plumbing work done and Tooth Fairy's hubby Umma Gumma da Plumma was sweet enough to assist.  Of course dinner was in it for them too.  Big Daddy and Umma Gumma busied themselves, 16 went to the mall with the weekend daughter and 8 kept herself busy all while Tooth Fairy and I went out and ran some errands.

This city's drivers were in rare form today.  People... it is not a lifetime commitment to turn a corner, just do it!  You do not require the length of three football fields between where you are and the  next car coming towards you before you can go.  Right on red IS still legal, and if you cannot recall the rules of a four way stop, re-read the book!  Sometimes I believe I need a loud speaker on my car to gently remind drivers of these simple things...Tooth Fairy says she can see it making the local news about some crazy lady and her loud speaker attacks on drivers.  (momentary interruption as I try to get past the stench of Old Dog's noxious geriatric dog farts)

Discovered today that Big Dog doesn't much care for men in baseball caps..

Funniest discussion at dinner, and trust me, there was LOTS of funny, was brought about by Tooth Fairy looking at 8's gums and finding a canker sore, which she explained came from the acid or ph balance being off.  16 proceeded to explain that she had done a lab in bio similar to that and could fix 8's problem....first she would have to change 8 into a clear liquid, drop some chemical into her, thus turning her pink, after which she could turn her back into a girl. 8 just stared at her and said "you want to turn me into a pink smoothie??  8 smoothie, you want to make me into an 8 smoothie??"

So, I sit here tonight in a house of seriously snoring Big Daddy, smelly farting Old Dog, baseball hat issues Big Dog, hockey crazed bio nerd 16 and 8, who is likely dreaming of being turned into a big pink puddle smoothie.  8 smoothie!  I do so love my family.  Maybe tomorrow the cats will be interesting.